I know, but I feel

Most of the time, people are on "spiritual highs" after coming back from a retreat. I, on the other hand, have been on a spiritual low. I haven't been this down in a while. It sucks. I know that trials test and produce character. I know that God is always at work, regardless if I'm conscious of it or not. I know that I should just have faith and persevere and trust that God is control. I know that God loves me. I know that He is all I need.

But.

Knowing all this doesn't make these feelings go away, feelings of hopelessness, frustration, stress, doubt, and sadness.

I'm supposed to be better than this, but I'm not.
I'm still struggling with depression.
I'm still wary of getting close to people.

People are leaving left and right.
I'm still here.

These are the days when God feels so far away. These are the days when I look around, and it seems that everyone has it together except me. These are the days when I just cry at night and blog about it, because I never tell anyone anything.