fearful.

As I was getting ready for bed, I looked over to my sister who was almost fully underneath the blanket. I slightly pulled the cover to see her face and I could tell right away what was wrong. Her watery eyes and her uneasy breathing gave her away. So I sat her up and embraced her. It only took a couple of seconds until she started crying on my shoulder. I knew exactly how she felt. "You're going to miss them aren't you?" I asked her. She nodded yes as she cried harder.

The previous night I had the same anxious feeling. It's that time again when my parents would go off to a mission trip. It gets harder every time they leave. As we ate our dinner and talked about stuff, I felt so uneasy inside. I feared that something bad would happen to them. My philosphy in life has always been, "If there's a good, then there's also a bad." My relationship with them lately has been really good. I'm scared.

I'm not dismissing the fact that they're in God's hands. Yes, I know God is able to keep them and protect them. What I fear is the probability that it is within His will something might happen to them. God was very well able to have protected those people in the world trade center, but it was within His will that the 9/11 incident happened.

The thought of losing my parents brings me to tears. I tried hard to push back the thought and enjoy my dinner with them. This fear is a driving force for me to pray harder and more fervently. May that be God's reason for my anxiety. Since then, I have had a little more peace about them going. We agreed to talk online every night just to make sure they are okay. It's so hard to be strong though. Please, keep them in your prayers.


"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and mind in Christ Jesus." - Phil.4:6-7